God brings so much life and freedom!
I’m sure everyone will be blogging about this because we all had to carry four rocks around in our back packs. Each rock represented a sin we still struggle with, and carrying it around meant everywhere-sleeping, eating, sitting, standing, soccer practice, and swimming. The only exception was in the shower. We had to do this for four days. The point was when Christians go back and pick up sins that Jesus already died for. I dunno exactly how much each rock weighed, they were probably about the size of a size thirteen foot, but anyways it was not very fun. It made sleeping more difficult and definitely hurt my ministry, a lot like in real life.
What I got most out of the exercise was joy! A big theme in my spiritual life lately has been running towards the good, instead of chasing away the bad. I was almost surprised about not feeling depressed by my sin. Usually during a meeting or something about repentance in the past, I come out thinking wow yeah my sin is terrible, I am terrible, wow people are so terrible, even every thought I think is evil, I am evil, God I’m sorry please God forgive me for being so terrible, God I’m not worthy of anything. This time was much different. We went through a list of all the sins or fears we might hold on to, and we discussed things we could do better. At first the guilt did start to sink in-look how many bad things I do, and look how many things I could do better. One thing we talked about was how in other religions kids may even have their bible memorized by the time they are ten and we still aren’t even close. In my mind I started to justify myself. “well, we love people more, and because we follow the true God, the powers of darkness are working against us, and…”, but who am I justifying myself against? Other religions? God? The Devil is more like it. How could I try and justify to God that I am ok, or not that bad or my works get me somewhere. He gave us the most precious gift of his son, who am I to try to start trying to earn my way again.
I learned this concept when I was a kid, but maybe now I thought because I am a better Christian, maybe now I can stand on my own righteousness. What! That’s where the joy comes in! It is one thing to be convicted by the Holy Spirit. Through experience I’ve learned that the Holy Spirit does not bring every sin into light all at once, or dump all the things I could do better on me. The Holy Spirit has flawless timing and when he brings a certain sin to light it is another step in the growing process. He doesn’t expect us to achieve instant perfection. He would, but that’s were we call on they name of Jesus! When the Devil tries to get you looking at what you do or do not do he puts a value on your worth by what you do, not who you are. The Devil always tries to question your identity. He even did it to Jesus, “If you are the Son of God…” How often do we still hear that if? “Caleb if you are a son of God why do you sin so much or not do all these good thing?” “Caleb God’s going to be mad at you.” The answer is so Sunday schoolish! Jesus! Ok my life is full of garbage, so what, I call on Jesus’ life. I do not have to be afraid of God waiting for his hammer to fall. (Quotes from the book After God’s Own Heart) The hammer fell! It hit Jesus! It’s not like yeah he took the big hammer, but there are still some little hammers waiting for me. NO! Jesus took it all.
When the Devil tells you your not worthy, it is a lie. We are worthy!! Because we traded our lives in for the life of Jesus. God choose to love us and fill us with glory! His glory!! When the bible says his glory will cover the whole earth, it is through us! We are his glory, because we are sons and daughters of the living God! I don’t have to carry around this guilt anymore! My chains are gone, I’ve been set free!(sounds like a songJ) God loves me in my immaturity and is so excited to grow me throughout the rest of my life. I’m not constantly falling short of his plan, I am IN his plan! He already knows every sin I will commit for the rest of my life. I never surprise him with my sin. He knows, and he is transforming my heart and my mind.
Mmmh it is so refreshing to not find my identity in how much I sin. If I did I would be depressed for the rest of my life. I confidently stand in the presence of God, like a true Son of God should. I do not have fear of what I have done. Sinning is just like the prodigal son. We run away from God. It is sad because were not with him. Ok so run back! And if you look at the story he is longing for you to run back! We don’t run back to an angry disciplining father, we run back to someone running to meet us and throw a party for our returning!!!! We we say we are only worthy to be his servant God says that we are his sons and daughters. WHOOOHOO!! Our success is not based on what we do or do not do, it is based in the truth that we love God, and he loves us!!
So lets party!!! And if you are living in intentional sin, run back into his loving arms…and then LETS PARTY!!!
So after we God rid of the rocks I saw the freedom God gives me everyday! I rejoiced in his freedom, and then the next day we went swimming in a volcanic crater lake in a volcano. It was beyond gorgeous! The water was so clean and amazing. Pepe took some of us sailing, he is really good, and it was even more gorgeous. Living in God’s glory and freedom makes for a truly beautiful life! J
